What Is It
He
is laying on the bed thinking about his past...what he could get and what he
had lost in last 10 years. It is 7'o clock in the morning. Usually he is on his
half way of his morning jog. But from last few days he doesn't want to go to
the jog. This morning Jog is his most favourite exercise but right now he feels
reluctant to every favourite thing if his. He closes his eyes and the past
memories flashes upon his eyes...
"You can't go like this Sue...I don't want you to go there." He said.
Sue smiled in return and answered," Sorry Pinaki...I must have to go there. This is my friend's wedding. And who will be the bride's maid if I am not there?? Tell me?"
Pinaki paused as he didn't found any word to confront with her. He chose to be quiet. But his blunt face clearly reflected his agitation. Sue came over him and put her hands on his shoulder. Then she went on her toes and gently kiss him. In return he hugged her back and reciprocate her with another kiss.
She whispered, " Pinaki She is my childhood friend. I have to be present in her wedding. Don't worry I will be back as soon possible."
"I will miss you." Pinaki sadly said, " Are you taking Ahana and Ayush with you too?"
"Yes!! As you see they are only 2years old. They need their mother with them always. But don't worry they will surely miss their Dad, will surely talk you over phone and will be back with their Mom as soon her Mom's friend's wedding will be done...Happy??" Sue asked but instead of waiting for his answer she again took him in her favour by raining kisses on him embracing him tightly.
"Okay" He groaned," But don't forget I will be waiting for you. You have to come sharp."
"I will..." she giggle...
"I will..." is still whispering in his ears. He feels helpless. The day when Sue boarded in the flight for her friend's place, the next day the news had arrived that the plane had been crashed while it was landing on the Paris airport. This news made him numb and completely out of his mind. He ran madly towards the airport and caught the next flight to reached Paris. In Paris, he was handed over his Sue's corpse with his two children Ahana and Ayush when he reached to the enquiry office of Charl de Gaulle International Airport.
After their cremetion and funeral he felt alone and isolated from this world. His parents died earlier and he met Sue in London when he went here for higher studies, they met, soon they befriended and after sometime they considered to take their relationship to the next level. So they got married. But losing his Sue and children he has none in this world.
He gets up on his bed. He is sweating profusely so he walks to the window. He pulls the shutter up as he needs some fresh air. The rays of morning sun touches his face, bare shoulder, chest. The warmth and light of the sun reminds him about his deceased wife and children. He close his eyes.
"You can't go like this Sue...I don't want you to go there." He said.
Sue smiled in return and answered," Sorry Pinaki...I must have to go there. This is my friend's wedding. And who will be the bride's maid if I am not there?? Tell me?"
Pinaki paused as he didn't found any word to confront with her. He chose to be quiet. But his blunt face clearly reflected his agitation. Sue came over him and put her hands on his shoulder. Then she went on her toes and gently kiss him. In return he hugged her back and reciprocate her with another kiss.
She whispered, " Pinaki She is my childhood friend. I have to be present in her wedding. Don't worry I will be back as soon possible."
"I will miss you." Pinaki sadly said, " Are you taking Ahana and Ayush with you too?"
"Yes!! As you see they are only 2years old. They need their mother with them always. But don't worry they will surely miss their Dad, will surely talk you over phone and will be back with their Mom as soon her Mom's friend's wedding will be done...Happy??" Sue asked but instead of waiting for his answer she again took him in her favour by raining kisses on him embracing him tightly.
"Okay" He groaned," But don't forget I will be waiting for you. You have to come sharp."
"I will..." she giggle...
"I will..." is still whispering in his ears. He feels helpless. The day when Sue boarded in the flight for her friend's place, the next day the news had arrived that the plane had been crashed while it was landing on the Paris airport. This news made him numb and completely out of his mind. He ran madly towards the airport and caught the next flight to reached Paris. In Paris, he was handed over his Sue's corpse with his two children Ahana and Ayush when he reached to the enquiry office of Charl de Gaulle International Airport.
After their cremetion and funeral he felt alone and isolated from this world. His parents died earlier and he met Sue in London when he went here for higher studies, they met, soon they befriended and after sometime they considered to take their relationship to the next level. So they got married. But losing his Sue and children he has none in this world.
He gets up on his bed. He is sweating profusely so he walks to the window. He pulls the shutter up as he needs some fresh air. The rays of morning sun touches his face, bare shoulder, chest. The warmth and light of the sun reminds him about his deceased wife and children. He close his eyes.
She
is thinking about him. He is so handsome and charming that every girl feel weak
on their knees in front of him. Still he behaves like a hermit and doesn't
allow any of them to be close to him. She pouts and thinks," But Prof
Devburman...I am Shikha. You can't ignore me like this. I am in love with you
from the day one. And you haven't noticed??I will not let you do this again and
again."
Her cell phone starts ringing. She picks the call.." hello..."
"Shikha...Arunita, Did you hear Prof Devburman had resigned." Arunita tells from the other end of the phone.
"WHAT?" Shikha yells as she can't believe in her ears. "Why and when??" She asks.
"Well after the picnic incident...he submitted his resignation letter yesterday evening to our Principal. And the peon from Principal's office confirmed this news. He may be this city today in evening. Shikha you should not do this to him." Arunita says.
"Shut up, Aru. I didn't tell him anything wrong...I love him and I have full right to express it to him. And that I did yesterday." Shikha proudly replies.
"But Shikha...you and he share a huge age difference. He is 35 and you are 23. How could he accept you?" Aru tries to convince her.
"Aru I have rush. Will call back you later." She angrily cuts the phone.Then she gets up form her bed and stands in front of the mirror. She smiles," Sorry Prof Pinakiranjan Devburman, my dear Pinu...this time you are not going to rid me off. I will persue you from the other end of this world." Her image from the mirror also agrees in her mission.
She turns back and walks to her wash room.
Her cell phone starts ringing. She picks the call.." hello..."
"Shikha...Arunita, Did you hear Prof Devburman had resigned." Arunita tells from the other end of the phone.
"WHAT?" Shikha yells as she can't believe in her ears. "Why and when??" She asks.
"Well after the picnic incident...he submitted his resignation letter yesterday evening to our Principal. And the peon from Principal's office confirmed this news. He may be this city today in evening. Shikha you should not do this to him." Arunita says.
"Shut up, Aru. I didn't tell him anything wrong...I love him and I have full right to express it to him. And that I did yesterday." Shikha proudly replies.
"But Shikha...you and he share a huge age difference. He is 35 and you are 23. How could he accept you?" Aru tries to convince her.
"Aru I have rush. Will call back you later." She angrily cuts the phone.Then she gets up form her bed and stands in front of the mirror. She smiles," Sorry Prof Pinakiranjan Devburman, my dear Pinu...this time you are not going to rid me off. I will persue you from the other end of this world." Her image from the mirror also agrees in her mission.
She turns back and walks to her wash room.
"You
are mistaking..." a voice comes from his head. He closes his eyes and
pushes his eyebrows hard.
" You are mistaking again Pinaki. Sue is dead so are your children. Your hermitage and bachelorhood couldn't bring them back. At least leave them in peace. Leave their soul from your punishment." The voice suggests him.
"No...I won't. They left me. It's their guilt. And for their deed I am in this state. Neither I will find peace nor I will leave them in peace in hell." Pinaki bitterly answers.
"What?? Hell? Pinaki why you are going mad at them??? For God sake they were your wife and children..." His inner voice responds.
"I have no faith in God. He is Almighty. He can do everything and anything. So first he snatched my parents from me, them it came to my wife and children and now he reaches for me and my solitude. I am perfectly fine the way I am now. I don't want any woman in my life." He groans.
" But that girl really love you. You didn't notice when she confessed her love for you she was very serious and determined. Believe me she will not hurt you ever. She is very good and sweet lady." His inner voice says.
"Yes she is." Pinaki sighs.." And also beautiful. But what if she pranks on me. After all I am her Professor. And I am not very kind to my student in that way...so may be she wants to trap me. And by doing this she may want to take revenge from me."
"Listen friend...if you don't dive into the water how could you estimate the deepness of the sea?? Please Pinaki love doesn't come again and again in one's life. And life doesn't give second chance to anybody. Let leave your Sue and Ahana and Ayush in peace in heaven and move forward. They will be happy. And please never consider yourself guilty for something for your lonliness. Yes this is unfortunate that whom you love they leaves you. But they doesn't do it intentionally to hurt you. But they have no choice as their end time was destined then. SO forgive them. And the way you lock yourself in a bubble you torture yourself. And by this self torture you torture them whom you love very much. But now the time has arrived. You have to set them free from your memory's prison. Find peace in her Pinaki. She really loves you. And you too start to love her. All the Best."
Pinaki nods his head and gets up from the chair. he walks to the cupboard and brings some albums and diaries and other mementos. He puts them onto the bed. After gathering everything he wants he grabs them and leaves for the lawn.
" You are mistaking again Pinaki. Sue is dead so are your children. Your hermitage and bachelorhood couldn't bring them back. At least leave them in peace. Leave their soul from your punishment." The voice suggests him.
"No...I won't. They left me. It's their guilt. And for their deed I am in this state. Neither I will find peace nor I will leave them in peace in hell." Pinaki bitterly answers.
"What?? Hell? Pinaki why you are going mad at them??? For God sake they were your wife and children..." His inner voice responds.
"I have no faith in God. He is Almighty. He can do everything and anything. So first he snatched my parents from me, them it came to my wife and children and now he reaches for me and my solitude. I am perfectly fine the way I am now. I don't want any woman in my life." He groans.
" But that girl really love you. You didn't notice when she confessed her love for you she was very serious and determined. Believe me she will not hurt you ever. She is very good and sweet lady." His inner voice says.
"Yes she is." Pinaki sighs.." And also beautiful. But what if she pranks on me. After all I am her Professor. And I am not very kind to my student in that way...so may be she wants to trap me. And by doing this she may want to take revenge from me."
"Listen friend...if you don't dive into the water how could you estimate the deepness of the sea?? Please Pinaki love doesn't come again and again in one's life. And life doesn't give second chance to anybody. Let leave your Sue and Ahana and Ayush in peace in heaven and move forward. They will be happy. And please never consider yourself guilty for something for your lonliness. Yes this is unfortunate that whom you love they leaves you. But they doesn't do it intentionally to hurt you. But they have no choice as their end time was destined then. SO forgive them. And the way you lock yourself in a bubble you torture yourself. And by this self torture you torture them whom you love very much. But now the time has arrived. You have to set them free from your memory's prison. Find peace in her Pinaki. She really loves you. And you too start to love her. All the Best."
Pinaki nods his head and gets up from the chair. he walks to the cupboard and brings some albums and diaries and other mementos. He puts them onto the bed. After gathering everything he wants he grabs them and leaves for the lawn.
When
Shikha reaches Pinaki's house she finds him in his lawn. He was setting
something on fire and was watching them burning. She gathers all her courage
and shouts."Pinakiranjan Devburman I need to talk with you..."
Pinaki turns his head to her and nods. He slowly stands up on his feet and walks to her. He notices anger and agitation in her face. He reminds someone's face who used to be angry on him. She looked so beautiful in her anger. And here she looks beautiful too. But she is agitated too. He frowns at her.
"Listen...I am sorry for the yesterday. I should not propose you in front of all the students and teachers. But I was helpless. As that day was the last day of our batch in this institute. Please try to understand I really love you Pinaki." Tears rolls down from her eyes..."I don't know what kind of past you have..I don't care about that. My friends told me that you have wife and children who had died in plane crash. And you kept yourself alive only in their memory. But you have to let them go. I am your future. Look at to me. In past one years I have been mad for you. I never felt like this what I feel for you. I have so many friends and will not lie to you I have couple of boy friends too. But I never feel so secure and relieved what I felt that day when you rescue me from those goons in our college. I was faint and you carried me to my home.You were fighting with them single handed where my boy friend hadn't moved a stone to hit them. I know you will tell that it was your duty to protect any woman from the humiliation. But what about your those glares?? You used to shower at me secretly when I was with my friends in canteen or library??"She pauses for a breathe but readily starts " Listen I have no issues with your past. I only want to be with you. I will accept you the way you are with all your virtues and flaws. I only want to be with you." Her voice chocks in crying and she kneels down slowly crying. She covers her face with her palms and is badly shivering.
He looks down at her for some time and closes his eyes. Then he takes a deep breathe and bends on his knee and puts his hand on her shoulder. He slowly turns her face to him and says,"Before your arrival I have destroyed all my past memories and set my beloved ones free. They will not be with me any more. And I am alone in this world. And yes I fall for you from the day one when i have seen you in my class. I have stealthily looked at you as I am mesmerized with your beauty and sweet, jolly nature."
Listening this she blushes as these words are most desirable for her. She keeps her eyes down. He lifts her face to him and stares at her eyes..and says,"Yes I love you. And want to marry you. Will you ?"
She smiles shyly and nods. He naughtily asks,"What Shikha you are shying?? I want to marry that Shikha Gujral who is very intelligent, talkative and witty. Not to any blushing good girl who always keeps blushing..."
"I am a girl also..."She slowly says.
"But now you are a woman" saying he kisses her taking her in his embrace. In return she hugs her back.
Pinaki turns his head to her and nods. He slowly stands up on his feet and walks to her. He notices anger and agitation in her face. He reminds someone's face who used to be angry on him. She looked so beautiful in her anger. And here she looks beautiful too. But she is agitated too. He frowns at her.
"Listen...I am sorry for the yesterday. I should not propose you in front of all the students and teachers. But I was helpless. As that day was the last day of our batch in this institute. Please try to understand I really love you Pinaki." Tears rolls down from her eyes..."I don't know what kind of past you have..I don't care about that. My friends told me that you have wife and children who had died in plane crash. And you kept yourself alive only in their memory. But you have to let them go. I am your future. Look at to me. In past one years I have been mad for you. I never felt like this what I feel for you. I have so many friends and will not lie to you I have couple of boy friends too. But I never feel so secure and relieved what I felt that day when you rescue me from those goons in our college. I was faint and you carried me to my home.You were fighting with them single handed where my boy friend hadn't moved a stone to hit them. I know you will tell that it was your duty to protect any woman from the humiliation. But what about your those glares?? You used to shower at me secretly when I was with my friends in canteen or library??"She pauses for a breathe but readily starts " Listen I have no issues with your past. I only want to be with you. I will accept you the way you are with all your virtues and flaws. I only want to be with you." Her voice chocks in crying and she kneels down slowly crying. She covers her face with her palms and is badly shivering.
He looks down at her for some time and closes his eyes. Then he takes a deep breathe and bends on his knee and puts his hand on her shoulder. He slowly turns her face to him and says,"Before your arrival I have destroyed all my past memories and set my beloved ones free. They will not be with me any more. And I am alone in this world. And yes I fall for you from the day one when i have seen you in my class. I have stealthily looked at you as I am mesmerized with your beauty and sweet, jolly nature."
Listening this she blushes as these words are most desirable for her. She keeps her eyes down. He lifts her face to him and stares at her eyes..and says,"Yes I love you. And want to marry you. Will you ?"
She smiles shyly and nods. He naughtily asks,"What Shikha you are shying?? I want to marry that Shikha Gujral who is very intelligent, talkative and witty. Not to any blushing good girl who always keeps blushing..."
"I am a girl also..."She slowly says.
"But now you are a woman" saying he kisses her taking her in his embrace. In return she hugs her back.
"So what it is?? Pinakiranjan Devburman?" He hears the same known voice which comes from his head. It is his inner voice or conscience.
He answers while he is looking at the mirror,"It is love. That love which leads a man to be good. It keeps him happy. And I agree I am happy."
"But it seems lust rather love." His conscience teases as he is staring at his wife through the mirror longingly.
"What are you doing here Pinaki?" Shikha shouts at him as she has just come out from the shower glass putting a robe on her. But her hair and body is wet and water drops are falling from her long jet black hair. He turns back to her and advance. As he reaches close to her he grabs her waist and says," Nothing...I was looking for my grey hair. But hadn't find yet. But my chest hair becomes salt pepper..." He winks "I need to dye each my grey hair. Otherwise my daughter will call me Grandpa instead of Pa."
Shikha stares angrily at him. Then she tries to reach for his lips by going on her toes...but she is little short to reach. He grins and grabs his waist and lifts her," You are little heavy."
She wraps her hands around him and kisses him longingly. Then whispers " But I find no difficulty in my weight till now. But as you say I will surely consider it." She giggles..."Let me go Pinu...otherwise your daughter will start crying. Please." She pleads .
"Okay...but next time I will not let you go." He warns sweetly and puts her down. She hurriedly walks out to the wash room. He smiles and reaches for the shower glass for bathe.
"Pinu Let me tell you one thing..." He is stopped as Shikha returns..."Ashi is your daughter. So she has all her father's quality within her. So she will understands what is wrong and what is right for sure...and also our relationship. So she will never mind. She will be proud and happy to have you as her Pa."She says.
"But..."Pinaki tries to say something but again is stopped...
"And she is mine too. She will ignore those people's rubbish rants easily as I do always. Don't worry. My daughter and I both are feels blessed having you in our lives. By the way do hurry. Otherwise you will be late for your classes and then don't blame with me."She states.
"But of course it is your fault..." saying this Pinaki reaches for her.
"Don't you dare..." she groans and shuts the door as she storms out form the wash room.
He shooks his head. Finally he is happy. Finally he finds his peace and love in her, Shikha...Finally he gets the answer...What it is?? The feelings which was giving him pain from the last three years when he first met Shikha. He fell for her and blamed himself for that. He became irritated from him. But finally he realizes that in one's life one time will surely come when he/she has to let go his/her old memories free and embraces the new one. It has come in his life too. And e finally accepts that and sets free his old agony, pain and sadness free...He accepts that he is in love with Shikha and finally gets her in his life. So he is the happiest person on the earth now.
-By Paramita
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